Written by Cory Blair, Founding Partner - Affective Consulting


Humans!! Strange bunch we are.  We are all people that breathe the air, splash in the water and feel the wind of a big snow globe called Earth.  More importantly is each person that lives on this earth is unique and has talents that allow them to contribute to their respective cultures.  Whether that culture is a tribe in the African jungle still practicing holistic medicine or a fortune 500 company making the newest technological gadget, all sorts of different people make up different cultures in our world.  This is what makes the world such a great place.   

The problem with our world today is what we see, hear and feel each and every day rarely reflects why the world is a great place.  We see violence and crime on the 6’oclock news, front pages of newspapers and more and more of the same on social media.    We see and hear about great stories of people doing awesome things but are always out talked, tweeted or messaged by something negative. Why is it that we need to hear about bad things all the time?  Why is it that we cannot support the good in people before pointing out the bad? 

I have a theory.  Self-Love.

No I am not some hippie living in a Volkswagen van loving everything that Mother Nature created, although that does sound pretty awesome.

From my experiences and education I believe that in order to truly love others you need to love yourself first.  Yes, people come from different parts of the world with different ideologies which can cause differences and negative action but I try to boil it down to individuals and simplify, to self-love.

Self –love is essentially looking in the mirror and smiling.  It is being at peace with what you bring to the world each and every day.  It is the belief in yourself.  I believe that if people truly loved themselves they could understand others better. 

Prime examples are bullies.  Bullies pick on others to make themselves feel superior and powerful.  Why?  Because they have no self-love.  They take out their own personal insecurity on others and that makes them feel better about themselves. 

The selfie revolution is another great example of the lack of self-love.  A selfie?  The selfie is the best self-love tool ever invented!!!

 I don’t think so.  It is a depiction of narcissism.  It becomes an addiction of egotistical arrogance.     People with low self-esteem and self-worth need to act out, cry out for attention because they do not have the confidence in their own abilities and talents.   Hence that is why you get those people constantly on Facebook posting a selfie.  Look at me, I am awesome, love me because I sure don’t love me.   Kim Kardashian did not invent the selfie.  Nope, Hitler did!  He was so obsessed with him-self he used to get people to snap pictures of him and he would go thru them to find the ones he thought captioned his perfection.  Guess what? Hitler probably didn’t like what he saw in the mirror hence all the bad he brought to the world.

Without self-love people treat others poorly, talk behind each other’s backs and diminish good things in others just to feel better about themselves.  I see it all the time in the work place, in my kid’s school and on social media.  What we need to start doing is teaching our kids at a young age that they have talents and abilities to be celebrated.  But how?

Well first and foremost I believe in conation.  The innate talent each person is born with.  How we take action, solve problems and attack creativity.  It is something we never heard of in schools because each child is taught a cookie cutter approach to learning.  It is something our bosses despise because a job needs to be done a certain way and heaven forbid we do it differently.  

When you allow people to do it their way, the freedom of their own strengths wonderful things happen.  Self-love happens.  People become more confident, motivated and feel better about themselves.  People want to learn more and take on new experiences.  They begin to think, feel and act the way were they were meant to.  They self-actualize or self-love.

When this happens something else happens.  People realize that others are different and have other strengths and methods to get things done.  People see that others compliment them at work and in their relationships.  People begin to see the value in others.  People do good things for others and see the diversity that makes our world great.  Self-love turns to love.

It all starts with you.  Do you know your strengths?  How do you take action?  What do you bring to the table?  What do you like or not like?  What is your motivation? What inspires you?  Why do you get up in the morning?  If each person started their self-love assessment like this, it would lead to a whole bunch of just plain old love in the crazy world we live in.