Written by Cory Blair, Chief People Officer, Affective Consulting
Through my training I learned that the human mind actually has 3 parts. It is some Freudian stuff but when you lay it out, it is simple to understand. We even used one of the terms as our business name to signify the importance of feeling good about yourself. Where thoughts, instincts and feelings live. Let me explain…
When I conduct team building sessions I always tell a story about in my 33 years I have learned so much about people, life situations and my self. People say well you are pretty young what the hell do you know? Well I know I am not a messiah by any means but I do know people stuff and football stats!! Even in my last 6 years I have learned a lot about how business works, how relationships are formed and destroyed and most importantly how I fit into the puzzle. I have a long way to go, gaining more and more experience but I will now forever be indebted to the 3 parts of the mind and use it in everything I do.
In 2010 almost 6 years to the day, I flew to Phoenix Arizona and took training in Kolbe™. Kolbe is an assessment tool that we use here at Affective Consulting that is strength based focusing on instincts and natural creativity and decision making. It opened my eyes to a world of stories and examples that make sense on how I currently function as an individual, husband, father and coach and how I did as a kid. At the time I did not realize my authentic self but now 6 years later I am helping others realize how awesome and unique they are and that it is perfectly fine to be yourself.
The biggest piece for me is my learning of the 3 parts of the mind. Thinking, feeling and doing. Essentially up to 2010 I only knew about the thinking and feeling part. Those also go by cognitive and affective. Cognitive is how smart you are, your experience what you have for education. Affective is your personality, likes dislikes, attitude and motivation. Most to all organizations hire for those two. What degree and job experience do you have and are you introverted or extroverted. What are you passionate about? What do you love? These are needed and important. But one thing I learned was missing was how do you take action? How do you walk the walk? In a decision making crisis how are you going to solve the problem?
That’s the doing piece. That is conation and it is beautiful. Instincts are that gut feel on how to do something and making those million decisions a day that have an impact on you and others. Instincts or conative abilities are the how to your life.
The best part of this is that all 3 play off each other. You need motivation to get started and you need to have reason to take action. The best example was my university career. I did not know a thing about conative abilities at the time but I wish I did!! I struggled in class and larger classes. I had horrible study habits. I did not take notes and waited for the last minute to finish anything. I failed... Bigtime!!!
Again without knowing anything about conation I was motivated to finish my degree and from experience I knew I had to find a solution to finish it out. So being naturally innovative and more of an essential info guy I registered in smaller classes where the professors were more one on one, took classes where I could use my creativity in writing papers not exams and shifted my class schedule to late mornings so I could sleep in. Those are just 4 ways of getting my degree. There was more (but this is a blog not a novel). Looking back, it was adapting to my strengths on how I do it and being me that resurrected my university career. Thinking, feeling and doing simply my way, got me out of the rut I was in.
Check out Affectiveconsulting.com for more info on why we do what we do and I look forward to my next blog in the coming weeks!!